Why I Came Out Publicly About Being Autistic

The reason I ‘came out’ publicly about being autistic was that I was at a conference down in Berkshire with professionals working with autistic families, including social workers, teachers, charity workers, councillors, counsellors, and GPs.

At break time, I was engaged in conversation with a social worker who was explaining about a family she worked with where the three sons were all autistic and the mother was really struggling with high anxiety. I suggested that the mother herself might be on the spectrum and this might be contributing to her anxiety.

Before I could say anything further, this social worker exclaimed, “Oh, no! She couldn’t possibly be on the spectrum! She’s far too intelligent! She has a university Degree! And anyway she’s married and she has a full time job! And it’s mostly men and she’s a woman! She is certainly not autistic!”

I struggled to keep my teacup from rattling on its saucer as I launched in, indignantly, “I’m very sorry but I think you will need to go back to basics, relearn everything you have ever learned about autism, for your sake and for your clients! I am a woman; I have been to university-twice and got a Degree; I have always worked since leaving home; I am married; I am a good parent – in fact, I can do anything you can do but I am also AUTISTIC!”

Needless to say, the woman was left open-mouthed as I turned on my heels after my outburst. She and a fair few others heard it. I wouldn’t be on her Christmas card list any more..!

This is what I really wanted to say when you sent me the board but I didn’t think it would have been appropriate. I do, however, tell many people this same story when they ask me why I decided to be so open about my being autistic. I got a very late diagnosis at the age of 50 so I have skated under the radar for most of my life. No longer. The above story is the reason why I want to be involved as much as possible to change these dangerous, outdated attitudes for once and for all.

Autistic people come in all shapes and sizes, colours, and textures and I for one am delighted with that fact!

Autistic people are all the same

There is a broad spectrum of people who are autistic, and even though many may share similar traits – no two autistic people are the same…

Autistic People Can’t Work As Part Of A Team

A very common misconception many people have is that autistic people are very controlling and uncompromising and so cannot work together with other people. This is an amusingly inaccurate idea to say the least.

There weren’t autistic people when I was at school

Well, as an autistic person in their 40s I can assure you - we were there. Many of us were not diagnosed or identified as autistic but we were most definitely there.

My Magic

Watch Wendy Ferguson share her poem on the subject of normality.

A New Understanding of Myself

My son was diagnosed autistic at age four. Researching his condition helped me understand more about myself.

What Kindness Means to Me

Some things done in the name of kindness can be harmful. Here’s how such experiences have impacted autistic friends, family, and myself.

My Lived Experience

Asking me to talk about ‘my experience of autism’ is as odd as being asked what my experience is of having blue eyes.


Masking has become much more talked about as understanding of autism grows. But what is it, why do we do it, and what is the impact?

An Undiagnosed Autistic Life

A childhood full of confusion and fear. Loving family, but so often misunderstood.

What knowing I am autistic means to me

After 39 and a half years of not knowing what made me tick, why I communicated and behaved the way I did, I finally got confirmation that I am autistic.

My Autistic Journey

For years I have struggled to comfortably fit in, understand people, and be myself.

Growing Up Undiagnosed

I was diagnosed as autistic eleven years ago at age 21. I had spent my entire life feeling different, not quite fitting in, but not knowing why.

Trusting What Remains

I struggle to trust my processing of this world, but I’ve found other feelings to rely on.