In Chinese mythology there is the story of the Dragons Gate. This is the tale of Koi carp, each spring they swim up from the sea to the yellow river and its waterfalls. They fight a battle against adversity and obstacles but continue to be courageous and strong till they get to the top pool. At the top of the final waterfall is the Dragons Gate, Koi who are brave enough and manage to clear the final waterfall turn into a powerful dragon.
In relation to my journey I feel this fits very well, for years I have struggled to comfortably fit in, understand people and be myself. I knew there was something different about me, on top of everything else I also had sensory differences from other people and I did not fully understand why.
After looking at many things, at the age of 46 I realised I am autistic, I was very lucky that within a year I received my official diagnosis. This has been like a freedom, everything started to make sense and suddenly it allowed me to be who I have always been, but with more confidence.
A New Understanding of Myself
My son was diagnosed autistic at age four. Researching his condition helped me understand more about myself.
What Kindness Means to Me
Some things done in the name of kindness can be harmful. Here’s how such experiences have impacted autistic friends, family, and myself.
My Lived Experience
Asking me to talk about ‘my experience of autism’ is as odd as being asked what my experience is of having blue eyes.
Masking has become much more talked about as understanding of autism grows. But what is it, why do we do it, and what is the impact?
An Undiagnosed Autistic Life
A childhood full of confusion and fear. Loving family, but so often misunderstood.
What knowing I am autistic means to me
After 39 and a half years of not knowing what made me tick, why I communicated and behaved the way I did, I finally got confirmation that I am autistic.
My Autistic Journey
For years I have struggled to comfortably fit in, understand people, and be myself.
Growing Up Undiagnosed
I was diagnosed as autistic eleven years ago at age 21. I had spent my entire life feeling different, not quite fitting in, but not knowing why.
Trusting What Remains
I struggle to trust my processing of this world, but I’ve found other feelings to rely on.